SPEAK

We all have something to say... We all believe that... or at least portray that belief because we all speak. Whether it be the sarcastic things we say, or the latest xanga we published. We are all sweating words into the huge bucket of life. What makes one's words more important droplets of words? Does it even matter? Do I have anything to say worth saying? With so many people giving their drops, doesn't it just seem pointless? Should i write this posting for tonight? Is it anything that hasn't been said already? Does it even matter if it was said already? i feel like it does. i don't know if that feeling is justified through out the logical evidence that we have labeled as "an argument". Personally, i say, "screw logical evidence." i mean language is limited no matter how logical your evidence is. Otherwise, we could prove EVERYTHING, and that wouldn't be so much fun. Oh, it would be easier for our greedy little minds, but not fun.


i would say, "just listen," but with everybody listening, who would speak? God? i don't know.
i would say, "speak when spoken to," but too many people feel as if they're being spoken to, whether by the latest t.v. show or by motivational literature or by God.
i would say, "speak when you have something of importance to say," but everyone thinks they have something important to say, and that's just a mean thing to demand. Plus, i'm not the judge of that.

so, i am saying, speak. Speak instinctively. Speak even if it sounds stupid or trite to you, for you do not know who is listening. Speak out of your heart, out of your pain, out of your joy, out of your life. Speak. Whether it be on paper, online, in conversation, in a class, or in front of an audience. Whether you know what to say or you don't. Speak, for you never know the ripples that your pebbles of words may cause.
shalom.

vivir...

And here my life is now becoming what it has so many times before-- a lonely wandering of a boy look for "the life". i want to find jesus again.

i saw her beautiful face turn around and place her shoes on the conveyer belt. Then she was gone. i turned around and drove home. The lonliness soaked in and i realized the fear of what my life is without her. i believe in the jesus that is written about in the new international version of the holy bible. i believe that God should be the main focus of my life, but i don't live it out.

i can't blame anyone or any place where i live or any circumstances for what happens with my own actions. i learned this the hard way from a pretty girl who basically told me that life is still a choice, no matter how hard.

now would be the time, right? what time? oh, the time to start living life fully out as if it were a dream that only a prayer could answer.

i will go to work. i will sleep. i will drink coffee late at night. i will find Jesus again. i will change the world.