I am realizing that I do not belong here.
I am realizing that I hide Jesus from myself...
by denying there is anyway a kingdom of heaven could exist in a world, in a country, in a government so destroyed and meaningless.
Now I know, that to say, "It just has to be this way," is absolutely the antithesis of what Jesus intended for anyone who believed him.
I cannot give up trying to find Jesus Christ in the kingdom he has built.
I need to stop saving things for a place a don't belong.
I need to give away this Idolized empire.
I need to be blunt and say, "I don't want what America wants. I want Jesus. Just Jesus."
Yet, I still have questions with ambiguous answers
What do I do about the tremendous debt that I owe others?
What do I do/don't do about my medical conditions?
Where do I start learning?
I yearn again to be a crazy person who is desperately searching for Jesus Christ.
"...I am ready,
I am ready,
I am ready,
I am fine..."
Shalom.
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