Being White Despite Of the Lack of Pride.

I decided to shave my face.
I look like a twelve-year-old boy now.
I realized last night that my dreadlocks and facial hair were shields for my own protection.
It's because I have a hard time associating with ignorant white people, which is most white people.
For some reason, me having dreadlocks and facial hair helped me cope with white people easier.
I guess it was a form of separation, not necessarily individualism, from the people that I wasn't comfortable with.
Leah and I went to a restaurant last night and our section was just full of obnoxious white kids who said stupid things and thought they were funny.
The saddest part is that I associated myself with them because of the way I look now.
I do feel angry that we have the same skin color. I do feel angry that I feel like I'm being misrepresented by them.
That's a little crazy, but only a little.
This is what Christianity has become as well. Christians left and right are embarrassed of other Christians because of the mistakes they made or still make, or just because they don't believe everything exactly as we believe.
There is a way that this is healthily done. This has to be done carefully, though.
We must feel grace, sadness, not anger and judgment.
The fact remains that the reason a lot people don't believe in Jesus is because of Christians.
We have to associate ourselves with them, whether we want to or not, because we have the same title of religion. And, because we are in automatic association with imperfect people we have to apologize for their actions because we are one in the same movement. Whether labeled "radical" "Presbyterian" "Catholic" "Church of God" "Prophets" or "Leaders", Jesus Christ's vision was for us to "be one", to be a body.
The other fact remains, though, that we are no better than anybody else-- that we are in fact imperfect as well. To love someone as yourself means to give grace to those because you expect grace from them. You expect not to be judged, so don't judge others. This is one of the simplest things to learn from Jesus, yet I am such an idiot, that I think I can justify my case to a perfect love by saying, "Well, that wouldn't work if this happened..."
I am wrong, but that is okay as long as I learn.
You are wrong, but that is okay as long as you learn.


Well,
Death Cab calls on me to rock out...
Shalom.