A Grace Lacking Such Gravity

No matter how good I am, I've still done things that I'm ashamed of.
Like a cancer, I have an x-ray vision to see the black spots covering my heart.
I don't even have to asked to be searched.
My hideous mistakes burn like acid reflux-- embarrassments to constantly swallow.

I am not unique, though.
Everyone has done things that are shameful.
No matter if the greatest mind, the strongest heart, the most courageous actions,
they still shall become a form of evil at one point or another.
Evil actions that seem to make a person evil as well.
Actions that condemn a person for the Hell he has tried to release.

Whenever I hear the news about so-and-so committing some crime, my hearts drops.
I can't help but think that I would rather be blamed for what they did.
Jesus already did this, yet I keep my deep, disgusting deeds to myself saying, "Well Jesus, I don't really think you want this... It's pretty crappy... plus, I just don't think I should give it to you because you don't deserve it. You never did anything wrong."
-- That's my 6th grade version of denying grace.

I think it's great to tell people that love is all that matters, but we often think of what it means to love and get very confused. If we just accepted and gave grace, we would then understand how love is supposed to be.

That is hard. We live in a society where everyone owes someone something. Jubilee is a foreign concept. We see grace as something that would set us free if someone gave it to us, but then when we think about giving it out it is seen as weak, dumb, and giving up. It would mean no longer being the judge of what others deserve. That looks not American, unjust, unfair.

Everyone walk in line.
Don't step out of place.
Don't follow the directions your heart placed in your shirt pocket.
Walk straight and orderly,
While curiosity sits in crinkled paper close to your chest.
Don't let the unthinkable happen--
Your fingers fiddle around to finally unfold the filler in the fabric.
Oh, my.
Close your eyes, open your arms, and try to fly to God.
No matter how many times your wings may melt.


Shalom.