Free Write of My Mind

I realized Anderson is the place I've lived longest.
I don't like the sound of that.
Maybe others do. That is fine.
I don't feel like it's a home town.
I don't know. I love the people here.
Leah still needs to finish school.
I need to pay bills.
I can't pack up site and leave immediately.
Well, I can, but it wouldn't be too smart.
So, how do I learn to love a place that I've hated 98% of the time?
I love how everyone told me that the friends you make in college are the ones that last a life time. I certainly believed it. I was very close to them.
Once our senior year came around it was a different story.
I miss them.
I feel I am too different from them.
Then again, I feel I am too different for most people.
I am unique.
Just like everybody else.
I probably just insecure.
Most people are insecure.
I need to break the cycle.
I am sick of not searching for Jesus like a desperate dog digging in a rabbit hole.
With time comes change.
With change comes knowledge.
With knowledge comes ability.
Enough time has passed for me.
There is an answer somewhere in my heart to all of this existential malarkey.
I shall find it.

And, meanwhile...
I'll brush dem haters off.a

shalom.