Monday, May 19, 2008

A Small Description of My Life in the Past Day

Now listening to: I just went to pandora.com and typed in "The Avett Brothers, Owen, and William Fitzsimmons"

Hello fellow mellow yellow,

I don't know what to take from any of this life that I experience and label "life" anymore. I used to fear that I may become crazy one day, but now I think that I don't have to worry about that happening.
I'm already crazy. That might be an exaggeration, but I do think I'm slightly suffering from frailty of the brain.

---
Intermission
---

I went to the diner with some friends this Sunday. It was the first time I felt like I had returned to the Mercy House (the church I attend in Indiana). I don't even know how to explain why. I spent time with everyone who was present at the diner long before Sunday, but for some reason when these six people sat at a table with me yesterday, I felt the Mercy House. Maybe I didn't feel the Mercy House. Maybe I felt a part of a church that I needed to be in. I wish I could iterate it more completely, but it's hard to iterate feelings. Feelings aren't thoughts. Feelings aren't words. At least, I think so.

---

While I was reading blogs today, I realized that each blog fell into one of three categories: 1. Writing to show one's honest self; 2. Writing to teach some grand point; 3. Writing in attempt to practice writing moving pieces.
I'm not saying one is better than the others. This isn't even an argument. I read blogs because those three categories are something I love to witness in friends and in strangers. I thought blogging was very dumb for a long time, but I don't think it's such a bad idea that everyone has a chance to express what they are thinking. I love the fact that it seems impossible to make a blog that has some other motive. (Well, I guess someone could have a blog that is ridiculous and funny without any point, but I will not add those-we-don't-speak-of to the three categories because I don't like that kind of reading. And, since I have the power to write whatever I wish, I will say that those aren't really blogs anyways. Ha! You can't stop me!)

---

I haven't been able to think about the future in any sense until yesterday. I don't know if it was because I took some of my friend's St. John's Wart, or if it was because another friend told me about an awesome job opportunity, or if it was because someone with a planning-mind showed me the glory of thinking ahead, or if it was a combination of all three, or if it was something entirely different.

---

shalom.

2 comments:

icharus_girl said...

thinking ahead has qualities other than causing stress- like enjoying now what you're thinking about for the future.
i'm just better at the first one than the second.
i like the second better.

especially at.... ??

icharus_girl said...

and with that comment i'm agreeing with you. not trying to inform you. i'm enjoying your realization.
those are two different types of comments... write a blog about THAT!