now listening to: Samantha Tobey
My mom doesn't read much of my thoughts lately. It's understandable. Almost everything I write is depression in words. I'm not proud of that, but, then again, what am I proud of at this moment? I don't know. Everybody keeps asking and advising me, and I appreciate it. Oh, how I enjoy the fact that people care about me and my constant struggle with complacency. Besides, each friend has that one thing they struggle with. Mine is my apathy. It's easy to fix, or so it seems when I hear it coming from the mouths of others.
"You bring all of this on yourself..."
I want to scream and kick until all things are demolished around me.
Start clean.
No contracts.
No piles of clothes.
No stacks of books.
No debt.
No medicine.
No sickness.
No reasons to stop wondering.
shalom.
1 comment:
Sometimes we have to take control of our own lives and heal ourselves. My 12 yr old son has been on antibiotic therapy for his crohn's (for the past year) and he has his life/health and his sanity back. He too suffered spiralling depression and weird dreams and dissallusionment with his life. The anti-MAP treatment is not standard treatment, but then again, standard treatment doesn't cure anything does it. Mycobutin, Azithromycin and Avelox, they saved my son's life from his starting point of suffering from "severe" crohn's to bringing his health as close to normal as I could've ever dreamed of. No more pain, no blood, no weird side effects. His blood tests are normal again. Pain builds character, after reading your blog, you have a lot of charisma but I would love for you to experience joy again. Peace. Toronto.
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