I really do think that Jesus was actual person who existed and lived the perfect life-- one full of love. He did not go to college. He was not wealthy. He did not write a book. He lived a simple life and changed the history of the world and humanity.
If I truly believe this, then how do I react? I understand a lot of things that I have done, Jesus would not have done. I have learned from the mistakes that I can make right and learn from, but what about the mistakes that have to do with money? I have tens of thousands of dollars of debt, and even though I have a degree labeled, "Christian Ministries," I don't think Jesus would have spent that much money on that. This is a mistake that I cannot simply ignore. I have a responsibility to pay it off. I think I am rambling on and on too much.
Basically, my problem is this: I can see/imagine what Jesus would have done if he were in my shoes, but I can't see/image what he would do if he were in my shoes right now.
And, I don't really know how I find that out.
I mean, I know I can pray, read the Bible, or just keep "living" out my life and better myself as I look back at things I've done wrong. These things do help me imagine the perfect love of Jesus more than I had before, but he is perfect. That makes me think he would never be in the situation that I am, so then how do I know what he would do? It's hard for me to have a bracelet that says, "w.w.j.d?"
My question is loaded.
W.w.j.d.i.h.m.a.m?
(what would Jesus do if he made a mistake?)
I paralyze myself in this paradox.
How do I see this perfect love with a blurry vision? How do I feel this perfect love with numb hands? How do I live this perfect love with broken legs?
It does not feel like the appropiate response to my need of an answer, but...
I will only find the right answer to my question after I have asked too many wrong questions and guessed too many wrong answers.
shalom.
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