Writing.

I try to write. I never really understood why. Am I doing it to be heard? I don't believe so. I think I'm "just doing it", whatever that means. Am I doing it for therapy? No. I mean, writing opposed to other things is not going to fix me more. Am I throwing down my point, so nobody can have the last word on me? Maybe, but I doubt it, because I would love to converse about these sorts of things that pop up in the sparks between the cell-thingies in my brain. Why do I love to write? I just read something saying writing is, "human nature... connecting us to our own insights and to a higher and deeper level of inner guidance."
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I always hated English class. I don't know why, but it just made the stomach uneasy and the heart hard. I don't like someone telling how to communicate in a language I have used all my life. Can a teacher, who has never hung out with my friends, my family, or my life, tell me how to communicate? I would write something. The teacher would say, "No. That is wrong. Do it like this." What?!? I don't talk like that to people. Why would I write like that, then?
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It wasn't until my senior year of college, about half a year ago, when I realized my passion for writing. Voice. We all have a voice. We all have that one thing to say into the abyss of our fellow man (and woman). Whether it be a book, a song, a speech, a sentence, or a word. We were all giving a way to communicate, somehow, to others.
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Why do I write? What compels me to write? Family. Could I tell you how much I love my family? No. I love them much more than words on a paper, but in a way that my life and my voice can portray. Friends. The people placed in my life, for the mere fact that love may teach me a lesson of grace and "coincidences". Pain. I have hurt and so have you. Have we all talked about it? No. Have self-help books fixed all our problems? No. Ideas, parables, descriptions, and/or voice are ingnitors to the clock work ticking in our cut hearts.
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Why do I write? I don't. I try to write.

shalom.