Now listening to: Anna Begins by the Counting Crows
Dude, i am going to San fransisco in about 45 minutes.
That is crazy. Am I scared? Yes. Am i excited? Yes. Am I sad? Yes. Am I joyful? Yes.
I go to the 90's replica concert and the sea of familiar faces drowns me with my own tears. You are everywhere. Oh, you are everywhere. Why did i not notice this before? Why am i so ignorant? I tell you goodbye and you say "goodluck" but you don't realize that i don't want to leave you. You are my friends. I know you. I love you. Do you realize how you've impacted my life? No, no, no, you haven't thought about it. It's okay. I applaud your humility. I applaud your patience with me.
It only makes me ask myself, "why am i leaving this? what am i doing? am i trying to get away from something?" I don't believe so. I was just being spontaneous. 2 months later this idea just ain't so spontaneous. I am regretting my life. i do not need to. i just need to live.
but i see this community. i see this girl that i told myself, "you can't do this to someone you're just gonna leave in a month-- in a few weeks-- in a few days-- tonight. Oh gosh, what have i got myself into? Something hard. Something hard, but something good.
"every time she sneezes..."
bang. my life fires through this chamber and i see the skyline fade behind me. i'll live on. i surely will. but will i LIVE on?? oh don't think Ryan, just go. you committed. see what happens.
"oh Lord, I'm not ready for this sort of thing..."
shalom::.
2 comments:
We miss you.We wondered when you were leaving. We're proud of you. School is really time consuming.We need an e-mail address and a phone number okay? We love you. We will be right here if you need us. Love you.
and by the way...where's "MY" Dave Matthews CD? lol. JK Love You xoxo
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