Vanilla Sky

I have thought about it and have decided that, for some odd reason, I want to live a dream life. I want to go to sleep and never wake up, but just live fairy tales and adventure, that could never happen in normal life, in my life. I would breathe under water one day. I would re-enter space with two other fellows, and no space ship, the next day. Life would be amazing.

"Most of us live our whole lives... without any real adventure to call our own... What is any life without the pursuit of a dream?"

There's a problem with this though.

Sure there is...

I am not living a real life. I am merely making a world that revolves around me. I am only an illusion and so is that world of dreams.
"My dreams are a cruel joke, they taunt me. Even in my dreams, I'm a idiot who knows he's about to wake up to reality. If I could only avoid sleep and I can't. I try to tell myself what to dream."

If I know it is fake, then why do I want it so bad? Why do I want to live a movie out in my life? Why do I want to most odd fairytales to happen? Why do I want to be faked out?
Why am I not satisfied with this life?

Have I only chosen a life that wasn't actually living? Have I chosen life? No. I have chosen the opposite. I have chosen a fake life, which is more like death... more like apathy. The opposite of life and love. What did I choose? A real life or a dead life that I wanted to be real?
"Somebody died. It was me."

Throughout life there are choices. Throughout ALL of life, there are choices to make. There are even choices to make the second before we die.
"With every passing minute, there is a chance to turn it all around."


"How do I wake up?"

"The decision is yours."

And in one last dream effort, I dream that I am falling towards the earth at alarming rates. I pierce the atmosphere and the wind rushes past my ears in a deafening way. I decide to hit water, because I will have a better chance of living. I fly by cities and lands that I have never been to before- Lands that are merely dreams to me now. As I accelerate past one last ridge, I see the body of water. Blink.
"Open your eyes."

The rushing sound of wind is gone and everything is black. I am back in my room.
Time to really live.
Shalom.

p.s. all quotes are from the movie, Vanilla Sky, which is one of my favorites.