Once we finished working, Heath and I headed home. Smile on his face and stone on mine. He cautiously crawls the gasoline powered box down the snow-packed driveway and turned right as we joked to each other, smiling for a few and laughing for all. He sped the white and rust colored box over the train tracks and up the hill.
Left onto a snake of a snow road creeping the weed of a forest. He attempts to fish tail around a curve and sticks the car off the road. I step out and push the car back on it's designated track. I look down.
"Is the car leaking mountain dew?"
We laugh again.
A right after the small foot bridge, then all that is heard is the loud buzz of the car's engine.
"Do you ever feel like you're not yourself?"
"What do you mean?"
"I don't know how to describe it... Like you totally don't know what's going on? Like you're not there. Literally. Like you're looking through a glass... It scares me... to the point of almost crying..."
"Sometimes..."
"I feel like that so much..."
C.S. Lewis wrote that Heaven is more real than the life we live right now. I understand. Not fully, but I understand...
When I look through my eyes and feel as if I'm not at my life.
When I get a thought like, "who am i?"
When I listen to someone shoot the breeze and think, "Where is the goal of this?"
One day we will not be limited by these "senses" that are supposedly our only measurements given to measure reality.
And we may understand what and why we do what we do. Or we may undestand something totally different.
Shalom.
2 comments:
Tell Heath to straighten up! lol. I sometimes feel like that (like I am watching a movie) it reminds me that I was born alone and will die alone and God is the only one that I am really connected to.
sweet post.
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