Sirens sound so distant when they're not coming for you...

So, I may have flipped out, but it's like if you don't, then it dies... it dies inside of you...
It's just this whole "what is believeing?" subject and what makes Christians any different from others and why is it percieved as boring to be a Christian.

Last night our staff talked about re-entry, which is a term used to describe the crazy feelings you go through when you go on some type of missions work and return home....
It's funny (well, not funny, but interesting) that I've never really have went through "re-entry", but I've had these feelings that people talk about. And it's like, "I don't want to get rid of these feelings, "cope" with them, or whatever it's called". And I realized that that's not what they were fully trying to do to me, but I feel like that this kind of approach (the approach of numbing) is a regular one to Christians.

And I kept on thinking....
on the prayer tour of Chicago I tell my groups, "With the immense size of Chicago comes immense problems, and there are no simple solutions." I was thinking about this line and about what do I do with this.

I must do something.

But, me doing something will not fix anything. Only God can fix things if He desires. But, that is not a call to just "let God do it," because to "let God do it", we have to involve our lives into his desire. In this Bonhoeffer book, he says that "only those who obey believe.'' I'm not sure how much I agree with this, because of the biblical quote "those who confess with their mouths...", but back then confessing with your mouth took action afterwards. And I'm not sure also because I AM SCARED, I am scared of what that means. Does that mean when I do not obey what I know is true, that I am not believing? Does this mean that the most basic part of Christianity, mostly all of us are missing? Oh geeze...
shalom.