Now listening to: Where you want to be by Taking Back Sunday
Man, So I think I've discovered that my group of old school friends from back home has sort of seperated. Some are in different countries, some getting married, some living somewhere esle, some I don't know... It's just like a brick wall of reality falling upon me. I always remembered people saying you'd grow apart from your highschool friends, but I always thought, "not my friends. I won't let it happen." Guess what. I must not have extended my effort enough.
I got a bad feeling about this. I got a bad feeling about this.
I told some people this, but it's like I have these parts to me that are fading away. Like my childhood, my highschool years, etc... I was warned about this... gosh... why didn't i listen. why didn't i live. There is so much that i want to hold on to, but i guess that is life. Life is hard. Life is sacrifice. Life is swallowing the lumps. Life is a journey.
As I sit around and fiddle with the duldrums of my living quarters, I feel like life is not a journey. I feel life is just a waste of time. I want to do something!! How do you make life not boring? Ya do something Ryan. Of course. But, it's like I've been raised in this middle-upper-class American boring neighborhood where everyone stays individual, and just zones out on the television. And, I don't know how to get out of it... I don't want to be sucked in. Oh, I so don't. Now I start to realize why all my old friends are leaving this place. They don't want to be sucked in. Had I better get out too?
Shalom.
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