Demasiado Tarde

Now listening to: The Unusual Mix Ep, A Rush of Blood to the Head, and Parachutes
This year has ending, my friends are gone, I am now grateful, why couldn't I have been grateful earlier? Each day I fretted about what the best way to spend time with them would look like, instead of just spending time and making it the best... All those smiles, all those laughs, and a little too late, did I realize they wouldn't always last. It makes my heart empty as this building that I remain in is, it makes my heart empty to see I have ended a reign of life, it makes my heart empty to think that I probably didn't attempt to give to them as much as they gave to me... I miss you so much am I'm sorry I didn't express that more before you left.

Time is so important, but so misinterpreted.Clocks are ticking everywhere and everybody constantly checks on them, but for one time I come to the consequencial conclusion that I shouldn't have been watching the clock to see if I was using my time wisely, because I figured out the clock, the clcok was using me.
Worry. Clocks bring worry. Why do we check them? So, we can't anticipate the future, so we can calculate how much we have to hurry, how much we have to stress. Did you think? Did you really think? That checking on that clock would make you worry any less? Accomplish any more?
I waste away today, this I know. But, why am I not totally made nauseous by that thought?America. We have been brain washed. It is true, and hardly anyone takes notice to the fact. The ones doing the brain washing, don't even realize it... sad... "Culture" "relevance" "that's just the way it is"-- things we use as excuses to comfort our incompleteness and weakness of not doing our best.
These thoughts swim through my head and may not makes sense, but that's the way my head works- it doesn't even makes sense to me sometimes. I don't even know what to do with what I just said... I'm a dork, but there's two kinds of people: People who know they're dorks and people who don't.
Shalom.