What is closer.

Now listening to: The Weak's End by Emery

So, I woke up this morning at 6:20 a.m. to go to the hospital for a sonogram and some bloodwork. Fonzie, my roommate let me borrow his car. I manage to lock myself out of it after I start it and scrape the ice of the outside, thus making me late. Then, I almost get there (right across the street) and the car turns off and I have to push it into a parking lot.

I'm falling faster and bleeding more than I have bled before certain death (this blade will carve a purpose)lingers on the other hand (and make you feel defeated)but I will fight you and victory will be mine in the end. circumstances mean nothing. when it's over we will be heroes. constantly pushing forward without any fear I was angry at God. I shouldn't have, because it's not his fault the car shut off. Life gets hard. I'm sure you know. But, please listen. There is hope. "When the storm has swept by, the wicked are gone, but the righteous stand firm forever." (proverbs 10:25) I know I could never know what you're going through, but please remember Jesus Christ and remember how much he loves you and how much he did.

The sonogram was cool and tickled a little bit. I don't know what the results were, but I'm hoping for a girl. The bloodwork wasn't too fun because my vein rolled over and she missed it then preceded to turn the needle sideways until it went into the vein. Ouch. Gotta have a little pain to make things better, right?

It's good to see you(I missed you last night)That's such a lovely color(It goes with your eyes)Before we fall asleep(I just wanted to say)This all seems so easy but there are choices to make
Things got better around lunch time. A lot better.

Now listening to: Garden State, the soundtrack

yeah, I got to finally see the movie everyone's been crazing about... I watched it and I don't know how I felt about it. I'm glad I watched it. I don't want to be corny, but the subject of love is in order. It's funny how many misperceptions there are of love. I was thinking during the movie... My perception has its faults. My experience of love throughout life was a "waiting" love, where basically no action is taken but "love" is there. My father, my friends, and I even thought of God that way. There is waiting, but there is also pursuing and fighting. When they are waiting, it's clear that I need to take part. I wish I would have realized this about 6 hours ago... I had the chance, but but but I'm so bad at this... love.

hopefully I'll be broken and formed again............................shalom.