Look at the Stripes of a Bumble Bee.

Now listening to: Give up by The Postal Service

I don't love myself.
Is that a bad thing?
The two greatest commandments are that i am to love God with all of our soul, mind, and strength. And that i am to love my neighbors as myself.
what does it mean, "love my neighbor as myself"? I think it means to serve/love as i would want to be served/loved. I do not see anywhere I am supposed to love myself.
Don't get me wrong. I am not depressed. I love God and He has truly made my life great and definitely worth living for Him. I just don't love myself, or at least i don't think i do. And i surely don't hope i do. I feel like if i love myself, that means I won't be loving God. I love that God created me and blessed me beyond what i deserve. I love God, therefore I want to give glory to Him by showing people his love, which is why I care for people so much. I love people. What i want to do for the rest of my life is love God and love people. With everything I have. I Love You. Loving myself, i think just doesn't fit in there... Aren't i supposed to die to myself, so that Christ may live? Doesn't that mean i'm supposed to kill off all of me that is bad such as sexual temptation, pride, greed, and sloth? Am I Wrong?? If I am, please tell me so.
This is really not a big deal... I think it's just i define pride with a different definition.

Anyways... i feel like i'm ruining something great in my life. Like too many times before, my head takes off running-- over thinking. Then i get awkward. Then things fall apart. I pray that i can prevent this from happening this time. I feel like i've set these standards in my head, that are so hard to keep because they're seen as unloving. But no one seems to get it. I'm trying to show the greatest love that i can-- love with a higher standard-- God's love. But, apparently, i suck at that.

Not Depressed! Really!! Let's talk about something good...

Chapter IV of My Most Memorable Moments
7 11. Saving up what ever money we had during the horrendously hot summers in Virginia during middle school. We'd grab our bikes (including my new freestyle bike with pegs and a gyro that let the handle bars spin all the way around). We'd ride as fast as we could 3 blocks down the street, then turn left and ride another block, then there it would be. With whatever money i would have from my birthday or from what i mooched off of mom, i would walk down the aisles and grab a peppermint patty, some grilled-style fritos, a handful of blow pops, and then.... then i would go to the slushy machine, and pour myself as much slushy that would fit into the cup. After making the purchase, we would step outside and fight the elements of the blazing summer with our heavenly slushies ready to try any new adventure that awaited us for the rest of the day...What would it be? Hide and go seek? Basketball on the street? Go to the secret clubhouse? Just don't let anyone know. Take my hand and follow me............
Shalom.