Now listening to: Worlds apart(live) by Jars of Clay
well, well, well, just gonna stay up all night again because I have yet another 8 to 10 page paper due tomorrow...
but first thing is first...
I remember always watching movies about a person accomplishing something great or fighting some tremendous, well coreographed battle or two people falling in love in the perfect way and saying the perfect words to each other with that perfect song in the background. I had let a world so lonely soak me to the bones and let me think of a well-off life without God. I had let them let me think that it was about me and not about Him.
"i am the only one to blame for this. somehow it all ends up the same. soaring on the wings of selfish pride i flew too high. like icarus i collide. in a world i try so hard to leave behind. to rid myself of all but love. to give and die. turn away and not become. another nail to pierce the skin of the one who loved. more deeply than the oceans. more abundant than the tears. of a world embracing every heart ache. can i be the one to sacrifice? or grip the spear and watch the blood and water flow? take my world apart. i am on my knees. take my world apart. broken on my knees."
I forgot. I forgot where perfection came from. But, now. Now I remember. I remember how to totally fall in love.
One of my close friends jokingly asked, "what's your deepest darkest sin?". I didn't answer. But, it did make me think... why do we try to hide who we are? I am filthy with sin. But so are you, right? We all are. That helps us to realize how much greater God is. Don't you get it? Everything God created, everything God did... it was for His glory. Don't you get it? That's what it is all about. Not about forgiveness, so we can get our feel better fix. But about the GREATEST THING EVER IMAGINED. Something (someone) that could overcome and defeat everything we couldn't. That could love forever. Don't you get it? You don't fall in love with God. You just love him back. But, then you have to let those who have been hurt and lost know about it by trying to be a glimpse of the greatness of love.
Don't you get it? If you do, then why don't they?
Shalom.