Booyah Blog

Thanksgiving= being a lazy piece of garbage
I did nothing constructive or productive at all except sleep, eat, play video games, and see the spongebob squarepants movie with my little brothers and sister.
My life is so lazy right now. I feel like Proverbs 19:24 is the verse of my life: "The sluggard buries his hand in the dish; he will not even bring it back to his mouth!" I feel like even when I'm doing something here at school, it's still the most boring thing ever. Life just seems boring to me right now. Is it because I'm "stuck" here? Is it because I'm not satisfied with what I have? A fellow student died in a car accident this weekend. I'm still in a state of unbelief. How much time do we have? None. People say that I should finish my college education, because I only have one year left. One year!?!? That's a long time! I could die by then! I could go across the world and love the poor for a year!
FAITH. I say I have it, but do I? After being through so much garbage for so many years, I been accustomed to being okay with God not doing miracles. My mom tells me, "God's going to cure your disease Ryan." and you know what I say, "No He's not. What purpose would doing that do? It's permanent." What is my problem? I'll be honest, going through years of life with a constant physical pain can make it almost impossible to believe in miracles. I'm not saying I didn't believe in God. I'm saying I believed that I felt God was doing it for a reason and that I should just except that I'm the receiver of this "punishment." That can get you down. But, you got to suck it up and look at the good. Why? "When the storm has swept by, the wicked are gone, but the righteous stand firm forever" Proverbs 10:25. I am priviledged. I am not being punished, but maybe I'm being tested. Many have been tested and gave up. That was the end. Satan said, "I win." But, no, not this freaking time. A bad day, a bad month, a bad year, not even a bad life will ever make me say, " Jesus Christ is absolute answer to everything". So if Satan still thinks he has a chance to break my spirit, bring it! I'm not here to mess around! I'm a tool ready, willing, and able to be used by God. And if I need to be put in the furnace like shadrack, mishack, and abendago, to do so, let's go. GOD'S ONLY QUESTION IS, Do you want your heart to be medium or well-done!?!?
SHALOM.